Her commitment to self-improvement and trauma recovery led
her to becoming the committed and passionate abuse advocate she is today. She
chose to transform from victim into survivor. She long to share that same
determination, empowerment, and knowledge with other survivors.
Through speaking, workshops,
coaching and retreats, she encourage and lead survivors on a path of recovery
while helping them strive for their best life. Her wish is for others to live a
life free of abuse and ultimately to end the abuse cycle.
Q.1 Tell us something about
yourself not many people know?
A. I am dyslexic and have always struggled to read and write which affected
my self-confidence as a child and young adult. It took years for me to overcome
the challenges of my learning disability and to ultimately write Finding Your Voice – A Path to Recovery for Survivors of Abuse.
Q.2 When should we expect your next
book? What will it be about? Do you have any plans to write an autobiography?
A. I have written a rough draft of my memoir, however, currently I’m working
on a children’s book. This project teaches children how to find their voices
if they find themselves in an abusive situation. I hope it will be a valuable resource
for families, teachers, law enforcement, and justice system workers who help
children speak up for themselves.
Q.3 When did you decide to write Finding
Your Voice?
A. I decided to write Finding Your Voice when I was teaching at a local organization aimed at helping women in challenging,
abusive, or dangerous situations. After several years of teaching, I realized I
couldn’t fit all of the information I wanted to into a nine-week workshop. This
realization, along with encouragement from family, and great consideration,
prompted me to write Finding Your Voice. I have always wanted to educate others and help other survivors heal from
their past trauma.
Q.4 How did you deal with the emotional impact of a book (on yourself) as
you’re writing the story?
A. The whole experience of writing Finding Your Voice and sharing my own personal stories was
empowering. I believe the process cleared up some unresolved emotional wounds from
my past. I learned years ago that when I face my emotions as they arise and
work through them, I consequentially have more joy and capacity for happiness. Personally,
writing Finding Your Voice
provided closure to years of healing and a path to purpose and fulfillment.
Q.5 What were your feelings when your novel was accepted/when you first saw
the cover of the finished product?
A. It was a monumental moment to see the finished product, and I certainly
felt a sense of accomplishment. It
took seven years to write Finding Your Voice. In that time, I spent many days wondering if
I would ever finish and then considerable time strategizing what to do next. I
didn’t know anyone who had written or published a book. Once I secured a
publisher, it was an amazing journey to see it come to life with a beautiful cover as a finished product with the
potential to help so many others.
Q.6 What do you want readers to
take away from your book?
A. I want readers to know they are not alone and deserve more than the abuse
they have experienced. I also want them to understand they have a choice to
take back their life, heal their pain, and live with more happiness and joy - a
life absent of abuse. My ultimate goal is to help survivors break the cycle
of abuse in their lives and their children’s lives.
Q.7 What was one of the most
surprising things you learned while writing your book?
A. What surprised me most is the
fact that I could write a book; I could learn how to share my thoughts in
written format. I had an amazing writing coach that thought me so much about
the structure of writing along with so many other things.
Q.8 What was the hardest part of
writing this book?
A. The hardest part for me was writing in such a way that was easy for
others to understand. I’m dyslexic which makes it challenging to write and
spell-even building sentence structure is a challenge! I naturally like to
write sentences in reverse as I did as a child when I reversed letters and
numbers. It has taken a tremendous amount of time and effort to learn how to
flip my writing, and it took more than a year to learn how to put my thoughts
on paper in a way that others could understand.
Q.9 Your book depicts many social
issues, according to you what is the main reason that women have to go through
all that?
A. Once a victim experiences abuse, self-worth and self-value collapse. This lack of self-value leaves survivors vulnerable
to more abuse. I feel it is the mindset of a victim that creates additional personal
challenges.
Q.10 What is the best piece of
advice anyone has ever given you?
A. My mom always told me each person has value and a unique set of skills.
The challenge is to learn what we have to offer as individuals and to apply it
to our lives. My mother shared great advice. She is the reason I am the person
I am today.
Q.11 Who would you most like to
thank for their involvement in your writing career?
A. I would like to thank Jen Clark. She is my editor and writing coach who
has taught me more than any teacher I ever had in school. She is my sounding
board and a tremendous gift in my life. Even today she edits all of my work and
gives me insight on how to keep improving as I work on new projects and improve
my skills.
Q.12 How does the empowerment of
women affect development?
A. For every woman who becomes empowered, their children and their community
in turn will become stronger. Women are known for being nurturing and
compassionate. It is time for women to be known for their strength as well.
When women embrace strength along with compassion then their girls will learn to
strive for more in their own lives and value themselves as individuals. Strong
women teach their sons to respect and value all women and recognize them as
equals.
Q.13 Tell us about your writing
process while you’re working?
A. I write as if I am speaking directly to someone as if in person. I focus
on a question or subject then I share my thoughts. Once I express my thoughts
on paper then I go back through what I have written and alter it into a more
cohesive product. Next, I read it aloud and listen for any distractions or what
I call bumps that keep the words from flowing consistently. I don’t try to make
the process too challenging; I keep it pretty simple.
Q.14 Do you have any unique and
quirky writing habits?
A. Not really. I prefer to
write outside when the weather is good. Sometimes I listen to soft instrumental
music with my earbuds to get in a rhythm. I do require a certain amount of
quiet and solitude when I write.
Q.15 How does your family/friends
feel about your book or writing venture in general?
A. I am extremely lucky that my entire family was encouraging - including my
father who was emotionally abusive during my childhood. My parent, brothers,
husband, and children are all supportive of my book and my mission to stop
the cycle of abuse. My husband has been a huge support emotionally and financially,
especially during my most challenging times as I wrote my story which was
emotional. My mother who passed away only a couple of weeks after the release
of my book was my biggest fan and my best friend. At least she was able to see
the finished book. She encouraged me for years to write the book because she
believed I needed to find a way to help other survivors of abuse. She was
always so supportive of my healing work as a survivor.
Q.16 Do you read your book
reviews? How do you deal with good and bad ones?
A. Yes, I read all of them. I
recognize that everyone has an opinion and not everyone agrees with me or my views.
I always say: I only know my experiences with abuse and the healing I went
through as a survivor. My ultimate goal is to share what I know in hopes that
it will make a difference in someone else’s life.
Q.17 What would you share with
folks who are skeptical of reading Non-Fiction?
A. I happen to be a non-fiction junkie. I love learning and growing as an
individual. I personally feel non-fiction is a great way to obtain knowledge and
has the potential to encourage others toward self-improvement. It can also be
done privately for challenging subjects like abuse. I also love memoirs and
learning about other people’s stories.
Q.18 Which famous person, living
or dead would you like to meet and why?
A. I
would love to meet Oprah Winfrey to discuss how we as survivors of abuse can stop
the cycle of abuse in our society while strategizing on how to help other
survivors heal the pain of their past. I feel
that as a victim of abuse the most valuable thing we lose is our self-worth which
affects our self-respect and self-empowerment. These are the key beliefs every
survivor needs to reclaim in order to break the cycle of abuse. I feel Oprah
embodies both of these beliefs on multiple levels. She possesses years of
insight on how to survive abuse, valuable information on various topics of self-help,
and a wealth of knowledge from her own personal perspective. I would be honored
if she would share even just a fraction of insight or knowledge she has
acquired over an amazing lunch and a glass of wine - my treat, of course.
Q.19 What books have most
influenced your life?
A. The Courage to Heal by
Ellen Bass and Laura Davis was the first self-help book I ever read and started
me toward a path of healing and recovery.
The
Glass Castle by
Jeannette Walls had a tremendous impact. I could see and feel her experience
through her words. I also could relate to so many pieces of her life even though
her story is very different than my own. It touched me on so many levels.
Q.20 Share the experience of your
journey so far?
A. My life’s journey has been amazing, and I feel I have come so far from
that little girl suffering from abuse and growing up in small town, Texas, USA.
I have overcome so many obstacles and live an amazing life. I’m happily married
to a great man. Both of my children have graduated from college and have
healthy relationships with their partners. My relationship with them and my
family is loving, compassionate, and respectful. I couldn’t ask for anything
more. I feel so honored to get to share my story and the knowledge I have
acquired with other survivors of abuse, and I can’t wait to see what is next.
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